The Error of Southern Hospitality

Bonita Welcome Plaque

Now anyone who reads this journal knows that I love just about all things Southern, and that includes the warmth of the people in this region of the country.  But today I have an amended observation.  There is such a thing as being cordial to the point of stupidity, and I have certainly been known to make that mistake.  I have welcomed and given of my time, money and talent only to have been stolen blind.  I have witnessed someone from another less gracious place - where boundaries appear not to exist - use, take advantage of, embarrass, offend and undermine my friends and me while we all cringed but were too courteous to say stop, you are not a nice person, get out of our faces.   

In fact, I have decided that the Civil War was unnecessary.  The North simply needed to wrangle an invitation to dinner in the South.  They could have walked away with the farm (including the silver that would not have been buried in the back yard) because Southerners would have felt too much discomfort confronting guests, even if they were thieves in disguise.  Why, Southerners would have never even known that a battle plan was in place while they swished through the room serving homemade food, arranging flowers and making everyone feel welcomed in the spirit of God's love.  Not a single shot would have been required.  No bloody battlefields.  No torn up roads and railroads...only scores of stupid and generous Southern women waving goodbye from the porch saying "Well, I nevah!" while all they held dear was packed onto wagons and moved north on dusty trails.

So we might want to re-examine this hospitality thing and resolve to confront those who rely upon our good manners to invade boundaries and pilage.   While I would not want to eliminate generosity of spirit, I will now sharpen boundaries and reconsider the wisdom of including guests who make me squirm because "Well, you see, it's the right thing to do".  Put another way, trust my instincts and bury the silver when it feels right.